Proverbs 27:9. Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Today’s proverb serves as the “flip side” to yesterday’s proverb. Yesterday we saw that a true friend will faithfully tell you the truth even when it wounds. But clearly no one wants a friend whose only words are those that point out the bad in you. Like King Ahab saying that he hates the prophet Micaiah because “he never prophesies good concerning me, only evil.” A true friend will also make your heart feel glad with earnest counsel.
Notice that this friend is approaching in sweetness. They aren’t obnoxious, annoying, or cruel. A good friend makes you feel safe to be around them. You know you can trust their wounds because you have also experienced the oil and perfume of their grace and kindness. Oil was meant to heal wounds and refresh the body. Perfume was meant to cover over odors. Offering a friend oil and perfume when they entered your home was common. In fact, to neglect offering the oil of gladness for your friends would be bad form indeed. The same is true of the “friend” who fails to offer any earnest counsel, especially in times of distress.
So what is this earnest council that is being offered? The second line of the proverb literally says, “and sweet one’s friend from the counsel of soul.” Earnest council therefore is advice that comes from the soul of the friend giving the advice. They care deeply about you. They listen before responding. They put the time in. They consider carefully what you are saying. And they don’t just say what they would do, rather they try to help you discern what YOU should do. How? Mostly by considering what Christ would want for you.
Are you this kind of friend? Do you have friends like this? Truly they are a gift. Like oil and perfume. Never let the fear of a rebuke or a wound keep you from experiencing the joy of deep friendships and earnest counsel. Counsel that comes from one soul to another.
If you are struggling to find friends like the one described in Proverbs 27, never forget that in Christ you already have the sweetest friend one could ever have – the Holy Spirit. He is the paraclete, the encourager, the advocate, the advisor, the comforter, the true friend. His counsel is always sweet to the soul. It is the oil and perfume of assurance in our salvation in Christ. The Spirit of Christ in us is pouring his love into our hearts and filling us with the joy and peace of Christ himself. He always hears us. Always defends us. Always intercedes for us. Always guides us. Never leaves us. Never forsakes us. And he will never, ever let us down.
Christian, are you listening to the Spirit of Christ in you? Are you receiving his earnest counsel? The Counselor is speaking from one Spirit to another. The Spirit of Sonship is connecting your spirit to your Abba. He’s pushing you toward your Heavenly Father for his healing love and mercy. Don’t let anything get in the way of this. Including yourself.
You: Do you have any deep friendships like the one described in Proverbs 27:9?
You in Christ: How does the friendship of the Holy Spirit allow us to be the kind of friend that gives the oil and perfume of deep soul counsel?
Christ in you: Practice being a true friend today. Really listen. Connect to the soul. How can Christ in you help you to empathize with others?
Pray: Father, help me to listen to the Holy Spirit’s counsel when he is pointing me back to your love. And help me to be a good friend who listens and gives counsel that points to your Son, Jesus. Amen.
To Live is Christ 