Proverbs 13:3. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
If it seems like there are a lot of proverbs about our words, that’s because there are. No one can be truly wise without guarding their mouth. People who say whatever, whenever they want are doomed to ruin. The person who can control their words has learned to control their entire life.
Some people proudly say whatever comes to mind. Being “direct,” or “blunt,” saying what we feel, and speaking our mind are often consider traits of an authentic life. But they’re not. Rather they are traits of the foolish life. This proverb wants us to know that we don’t have to say everything. The authentic life is not the unfiltered life, and guarding what you say is actually the wisest way to live.
The warning attached here is ominous – comes to ruin. Talk too much, ruin your life. This may sound extreme, but is it? Unchecked words have ended marriages, friendships, business partnerships. The unguarded mouth has destroyed careers, ministries, reputations. The power of our words can never be overstated. Truly the tongue is a small member with big power. Like a rudder on a ship, or a bit in a horse’s mouth, the tongue can powerfully turn a life around for the good or for the bad.
One of the clearest signs of spiritual growth and increasing trust in the Lord is being able to control what comes out of your mouth. There is no faith behind gossip, false promises, curses, insults, and bragging. One of the clearest signs of an ever increasing love for others is when you can stop taking over every conversation, learn to be slow to speak and quick to listen, and take the time to hear what others are saying.
Look at how James’ epistle equates quarrelsome and hateful words with spiritual adultery.
James 4:1-4;10. 1What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. 4You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God…10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
We attack others verbally because we expect from them what we should only expect from God himself. We look to others to satisfy our desires, rather than looking to the living waters of Christ in us. And when others can’t give us what we want, which they never can, that’s when we attack.
The solution?
James calls for repentance. Humble submission to God (4:10). Asking God for what we need and then trusting that he has supplied it all in our union with Christ. This is the new life in Christ, a life of guarding our mouths. Not to preserve our own lives, but because we know our life has already been preserved in Christ.
You: Do you think that saying whatever you feel is the sign of an authentic life, or do you try to control your words?
You in Christ: How does knowing that your life is preserved in Christ empower you to guard your words and filter what you say?
Christ in you: How might you form the habit of thinking before you speak? How does Christ in you help you in this habit formation?
Pray: Father, I know I don’t have to prove myself to you or anyone. Help me to let the truth of my eternal life in your Son guard my thoughts and my words today and every day. Amen.
To Live is Christ 