Proverbs 19:4. Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.
Proverbs 19:6. Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.
These two proverbs describe the fair weather friend. Everyone wants to be friends with the wealthy person who gives gifts. Everyone wants a friend who will pay for dinner, and invite you to their beach house, and give you their luxury hand-me-downs.
Maybe you’ve been on one or both sides of this kind of relationship. Have you been the friend who tries to buy friendships with gift giving, and false generosity? Maybe you do things for your friends that they would never do for you, but you are afraid to stop for fear of losing those friends. Or, have you been the friend who sticks around only because you are taking advantage of the kindness and generosity of your friend? If this person were suddenly poor, would you still be their friend?
Jesus’ classic tale of the Prodigal Son, in Luke 15, illustrates these proverbs. The younger son of a rich man asked for his inheritance from his father, and then left home to spend his new found wealth on a party lifestyle. While he had lots of money, he had lots of friends, but when the money ran out so did the friendships. Soon he found himself all alone feeding pigs for pennies.
True friendship comes with love for the person, not their wealth, not their gifts, not the parties they throw or the lifestyle they offer. True friendship cannot be purchased. Yes, it is cultivated and yes there should be a level of reciprocity to it, a mutual give and take that both sides genuinely enjoy. But at its core, a real friendship has no strings attached. You are my friend because I love and care about you unconditionally.
While on earth, Jesus understood these two proverbs all too well. While he was doing miracles, healing, raising the dead, casting out demons, and feeding crowds, many sought his favor. His spiritual wealth, brought many new friends. But were they true friends? Even Jesus’ closest friends, the Disciples, deserted him in his greatest hour of spiritual poverty. They slept while he prayed, and they fled while he was dragged away to be crucified.
What about your relationship with Jesus? Are you a fair weather friend to Christ?
In Christ we are now friends with Jesus. We have been brought into a mutual relationship of give and take. Of course, Jesus gave first. He always does. And the gifts he gives are literally out of this world. But what union with Christ ensures is that we never stay in relationship with Christ just to get his gifts without getting him. We can never love his favors without loving him. Why not? Because their simply is no separating Christ’s gifts from Christ, his favors from his person. Christ’s gift to us IS himself. Christ’s grace to us is union with his life.
So we don’t need to worry if we are taking advantage of Jesus, using him to get his blessings. He IS his blessing to us. The more we understand this truth, the more we will love not only the gifts of Christ, but Christ as the gift.
You: Are you a fair weather friend? Are you purchasing your friends with gifts?
You in Christ: In what way is Christ never separated from his gifts? How does union with Christ give us both Christ and all his gifts as ONE thing?
Christ in you: How can Christ in you empower you to cultivate healthy friendships?
Pray: Father, thank you for giving me the gift of union with Christ. Help me to cultivate my friendship with Christ, seeing his person as his gift. Amen.
To Live is Christ 