Proverbs 18:22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
This proverb harkens us back to the Garden and Genesis 2. It is NOT good for man to be alone God said. God did not create anything that was not good, but the omission of a wife for Adam was clearly meant to help him see the value of Eve as the “helper fit for him.” The co-ruler of creation. The completion of the Imago Dei. The battle buddy for fighting off temptation and evil.
In spite of the Fall, the truth still remains – a good wife is one of God’s greatest gifts and graces. The proverb more literally says, He who finds a wife finds good. It is implied that the wife here is a good wife, not just any woman, but a godly woman as in Proverbs 31. In Proverbs 8:35 we’re told that the man who finds Lady Wisdom obtains favor from the Lord. Here the finding of the good wife is favor from the Lord. Both are said to be worth more than jewels.
What’s very interesting in this proverb is the word finds. Arranged marriages were the norm in ancient cultures, not seeking your own spouse. It seems as though Proverbs is telling young people to marry for love more than for the financial or social benefits it might bring. And who should a young person seek to marry? Again, not the person of high social status, but the person of high wisdom and the fear of the Lord.
Things aren’t too different today. Christian singles who desire to be married must first ask themselves am I willing to go out and find a spouse. To look for a godly spouse is not a lack of faith. There can be seasons in your life as a single Christian where you seek to enter relationships that may lead to marriage. You can call this “dating” if you want. And there is nothing wrong with dating as a path toward marriage.
The next question to ask is, what kind of person am I looking for? Well, they should be a Christian to start. If wisdom as the fear of the Lord is at the center of a marriage, then why would you seek anyone who does not fear the Lord? Also, they should be a person you can not only love, but also respect and admire. Do you see evidence of Christ in them? The fruit of the Spirit?
There is no doubt that marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts for sanctification. But so is singleness. Proverbs 18:22 was written into a culture where singleness virtually did not exist. Only prostitutes, eunuchs, and older widows/widowers were single, everyone else married. But in Christ we live in the age of the church of Jesus Christ. God is building his kingdom through the bride of Christ. Jesus is the bridegroom and we are all, married and single, the good wife that he has found.
We no longer have to find a spouse, because Jesus found us. We did not find him, in fact, we weren’t even looking. Rather, he is the one who came to seek and to rescue his bride from the clutches of death and destruction. In finding his Church, Jesus has found a good thing. He has found the end of all redemptive history. The favor of his Heavenly Father. The bride that will love and respect him into eternity.
You: What makes a good wife, good?
You in Christ: In Christ we are the bride of Christ, his good wife. How does truth affect your marriage or your search for a spouse?
Christ in you: How can you live differently as though you are first and foremost the spouse of Christ?
Pray: Father, you have made me the good wife of Christ. Purified. Wise. Loving. I am your gift to Jesus just as he is your gift to me. Cause me to live in this depth of love each day. Amen.
To Live is Christ 