Proverbs 10:19. When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
This is the first of three consecutive proverbs about our words. The point is clear – use your words sparingly. Restrain your lips. More words, more sin.
More words, more potential stretching of the truth.
More words, more potential embarrassment.
More words, more promises you can’t keep.
More words, more offending of others.
More words, more boring others.
More words, more judging of others.
More words, more talking without thinking first.
Does any of this sound familiar?
That’s why developing restraint is such an important part of growing in Christ. Restraint is a form of self-control, which is, of course, a fruit of the Spirit. Restraint is the ability to not do or say something when you really want to do or say that thing. When that sarcastic comeback pops into your head, restraint keeps you from saying it out loud. When that mean insult is on the tip of your tongue, restraint keeps it inside. Restraint lets you hold your tongue. In the words of that great theologian Ice Cube, restraint lets you “check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”
The wise person who is living in Christ thinks before speaking. They are slow to speak and quick to listen. They choose words that build up and edify. Even in times of needed confrontation, their words are spoken as truth in love. Always measured. Always seasoned with salt.
That’s what our union with Christ offers – love. Indwelling love in regards to others and self-forgetfulness in regards to ourselves. Christ in us doesn’t withhold his words of love and grace. By his Spirit he is speaking to us constantly, never restraining his kind and caring words of hope and love.
Our response? Shut up, and listen to him! Then, and only then, speak, making sure your words sound like his.
You: Do you talk too much? What would your friends and family say?
You in Christ: How does our union with Christ remove the need to talk too much?
Christ in you: How can Christ’s love for you allow you to restrain your words, especially the defensive or harmful ones?
Pray: Father, help me to think before I speak and not say everything that pops into my head. Mostly help me to listen to your words of love to me. Amen.
To Live is Christ 