Proverbs 23:12-16. 12Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge. 13Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 14If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. 15My son, if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad. 16My inmost being will exult when your lips speak what is right.
Wisdom doesn’t just happen. No human being is born wise. No person just sort of figures out wisdom on their own. As verse 12 makes very clear, wisdom is something we must apply our heart to learning. It takes effort to be wise.
And it takes a life time of training and discipline. This is the relationship between parent and child which will produce discipline.
First, the proverb addresses the parent. Whatever you do, do NOT withhold discipline. The word apply in verse 12 and the word discipline in verse 13 are the same word. The message is clear: a person won’t apply their heart to instruction without discipline.
Many of us will cringe at the method of discipline – strike him with a rod. Does God want us to strike our children? What we know for sure, is that God wants us to use the authority he’s granted to us as parents to discipline our children with a consequence that is painful for a while. But not forever. Notice that the use of the rod is sandwiched in between instruction and joy – if your heart is wise, my heart too will be glad.
Have you been instructing your children in wisdom? Have you given them words of knowledge? No. Then don’t discipline them when they are unwise. How can you punish a child for failing to do something you’ve never instructed them in? We punish children for rebellion, not for ignorance.
When you discipline your child is it your goal to bring them back into a restored relationship of joy? Are they given an opportunity to express their own voice – when your lips speak what is right? Do you test their heart for change –if your heart is wise, my heart will too be glad?
Godly discipline is never simply the punishment of wrong doing. It is the guidance into right doing. It is the transformation of the heart that is the goal. The personal embrace of wisdom by the child, so that they claim it as their own by faith.
Maybe the most important aspect of parental discipline is that the parent must first embrace God’s discipline in their own life. Parents, have you applied your heart to instruction? Do you hear words of wisdom? Do you embrace the loving rod of God as that which is saving you from Sheol, from death? Are you making your Heavenly Father’s heart glad?
All of this is possible by our union with Christ. In Christ, we are sons and daughters of God. In Christ, the wisdom of the cross has been applied to our hearts. In Christ, the loving discipline of God is actively transforming us into his image. Our union with the cross of Christ, God’s punishment for our sin, hasn’t destroyed us, in fact, it has kept us from the destruction of Sheol. And our union with the resurrected life of Christ has given us a new, wise heart and lips that speak what is right. Hallelujah!
You: If you are a parent, how have you been instructing and disciplining your children?
You in Christ: How does our union with Christ allow us to embrace God’s discipline of our hearts, even when it is painful?
Christ in you: Why must we understand Christ in us, before we attempt to train, instruct, and discipline our children?
Pray: Father, your joy is now eternally wrapped up in my joy, a joy that comes from applying my heart to your wisdom. Give me strength today to seek your instruction and knowledge. Amen.
To Live is Christ 